9 SIGNS YOU’RE ITALIAN
*I have a feeling I am going to keep this list of “9” going
1) You Don’t Have An “Inside” Voice.
You literally do not know how to “lower your voice”. On a daily basis I am asked why am I screaming. Maybe our voice boxes are set up differently from the rest of the world, who knows?
2) You Have Pasta At Least 3-4 Times A Week For Dinner.
Just trust me- pasta is basically its own food group and is necessary for survival. How you crazy dieters cut out pasta (let alone carbs) to me is mind blowing. Oh- and us Italians know we most definitely have pasta on Thanksgiving every year.
3) Holiday Meals Are At 3pm.
This one pisses me off. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS MEAL? Is it late lunch or early ass dinner? It can’t be both. Why? Because cutting out an entire meal is a sin. WHY COMBINE TWO MEALS INTO ONE? It just comes down to math. Two Meals > One Meal because simply you get to eat TWICE not only ONCE.
4) 99.9% of Family Conversations Are About Death Or Food.
My grandma plans her funeral every time the family gets together. I know where she wants to be buried down to what outfit and shoes she wants to be buried in. Keep in mind she is not sick or super elderly- like she is still kicking it. As for food, this Christmas dinner my family discussed what meats we should be having on EASTER.
5) You Physically Can Not Speak Without Using Your Hands.
I have been accused of physically assaulting four people because I was throwing out hand gestures while having an innocent conversation. I could have a full conversation exclusively with hand motions- it’s basically a second type of sign language we got going on here.
6) Two Words Guaranteed to Make You Vomit- Olive Garden.
I do not give a shit how many free breadsticks or how much salad you shove in my face- this “ITALIAN CUISINE” sucks. Your tomato sauce is most definitely canned- enough said. As for people who order pasta or any type of Italian dish at a restaurant.. if they also have hamburgers or chicken wings on their menu just don’t do that to yourself (cough cough Applebee’s).
7) My Cousin Vinny Is Hands Down Your Favorite Movie.
Why? Because every Italian has that cousin Vinny.
8) Most Likely You Have Great Olive Skin.
All you need is one day at the beach in the summer and you’re all set with your golden glow. Also wonderful side effect of our skin: never getting a sunburn.
9) You Would Not Change Your Heritage For Anything.
You couldn’t be more proud and grateful for being Italian. Okay true- if you weren’t Italian you would probably be 10 pounds lighter but cannolis are worth it.
Life Of A Mish 