9 Things I Don’t Get About Guys
*That Y Chromosome Really Switches Things Up
1) Why Do Half Of You Only Workout Your Arms And Chest?
Listen we notice chicken legs. You are not fooling ANYONE. Not everyday can be chest and bicep day, okay? You have other body parts my friend – let’s not forget.
2) Why Can’t You Say He’s Hot?
You know we know you know (still with me?) if some guy is hot or not, so ADMIT IT. What do you mean, “How am I suppose to know?” Maybe because you have EYES with this sense called sight. Do your eyes suddenly become blind and your judgement simply diminish when you look at a guy? You don’t even have to say he’s hot- just say handsome. Like what is the big deal!?
3) What Is With The Wolf Of Wall Street?
What is with this OBSESSION with the Wolf of Wall Street movie? Like don’t get me wrong. It’s universally agreed, well pretty much a universal fact, that Leonardo DiCaprio is amazing and every film he’s in is meritorious but the film is not like my new Bible or anything. I mean I would see it again- but then it’s back-to-back-to-back replays of Titanic is all I’m getting at.
4) Boobs or Booty?
What is more important? I just want to know so I’ll know if it’s worth doing those extra set of squats at the gym tomorrow.
5) Why Can’t You Put Down The Toilet Seat?
I promise it is SUPER simple. Just tap the toilet seat in a downwards motion and gravity will do the rest for you.
6) Why Can You Eat So Much?
Why can you eat eight 3-course meals a day and not gain weight? What is this magical gene you have? And why do all your meals need to include steak or bacon? Also, why when you do one crunch you get a six pack? WHY? WHY? WHY?
7) Why Do You Like Beer?
It tastes like carbonated liquid aluminum. Why do you drink so many of them- do you hate yourself that much? Also BP is fun but this isn’t an Olympic sport or anything so let’s chill out about this- everyone knows playing BP well is SO all about luck and honestly no one cares if you’re undefeated.
8) Video Games- Seriously?
How can you spend 6 hours a day playing Call of Duty? Do you know it isn’t real? Don’t you know you’re not 12-years old? Don’t your eyes burn at one point?
9) This One Blows My Mind. WHERE IS YOUR BAG?
How can you leave the house with just a wallet and iPhone? Where can I buy this miracle wallet that fits everything? Like where do you place your snacks, water bottles, lipgloss, gum, headphones and book!? Are you all secretly Mary Poppins?????
My confusion is overwhelming and now my brain hurts.
Life Of A Mish 